He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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