i jhust puked up my retainher.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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