sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
