My balls are so social today.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So vagazzling was a success
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
