It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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