Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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