He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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