when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
