sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
