There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
