She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
