Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
