I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
