too bad you live with your parents still
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
