it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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