I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
