The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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