in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I am available for nakedness
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
