well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
