He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
