My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
