hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
