I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
