you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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