It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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