If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
