I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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