ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
