i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
