I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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