no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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