So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
