I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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