Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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