Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
