Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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