I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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