There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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