I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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