there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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