And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
