Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
