I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
