what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
