last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
