there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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