we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
what is it with giant penises always finding me
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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