I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
