ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
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