first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
